


Mythbusters: Red and Blue version

by WannaBeAuthor



Category: Pocket Monsters SPECIAL | Pokemon Adventures
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22481101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WannaBeAuthor/pseuds/WannaBeAuthor
Summary: A future professor and an idiot with really good survival skills combine their skills to test the myths and legends of the Pokemon universe, from the more ridiculous Pokedex entries to fan theories.
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

Red: HELLO AND WELCOME TO POKEMYTHBUSTERS!  
Blue: That's stupid. Just stick with Mythbusters.  
Red: Everything in our world has Poke before it though!  
Blue: Yeah, and that's stupid enough, we're not contributing.  
Red: Fine. I'm the fun host, Red, and I know a lot through personal experience-  
Blue: He means foolish mistakes and near death experiences.  
Red: And what's wrong with that?  
Blue: Hmmph. I'm Blue Oak, grandson of Professor Oak and Indigo League finalist-  
Red: I BEAT YOU! HAHA!  
Blue: I know, I was there. I'm here to balance out Red's stupidity and make sure he doesn't die. Again.  
Red: Aww, you care!  
Blue: JUST START THE SHOW  
Red: We're waiting for our guests to arrive, no need to be impatient. Let's just play credit music.  
Blue: Record live, he says. It'll be fun, he says. 

Credit music provided by DJ Mary

Red: And here we have our guests! Say hello to capture whiz Crystal, the only person nice enough to get paid in renovated orphanages! Silver, professional ninja and mob boss heir with a hidden heart of gold! And Gold..... um..... is Gold!  
Gold: Oh what high praise, you're making me blush. Hey, do you think any hot chicks are watching this?  
Silver: Just ignore him and it'll be somewhat tolerable  
Red: The myth says that Arceus created the world. What do you have to say about that?  
Crys: Well, he definitely exists. I tried to kick him in the face!  
Blue: Um.....  
Red: YOU WHAT?  
Gold: Then some Team Rocket thugs tried to capture him and forced him to create the Creation Trio.  
Blue: Ah, the Creation Trio. That brings in our next guests, the amazing comedy duo of Diamond and Pearl and the wealthy philanthropist Lady Platinum!  
Pearl: Is there anyone watching this? You are paying us in exposure remember, that's the only reason we came on this stupid show  
Blue: WE'RE RECORDING LIVE!  
Red: So, would you say that the Creation Trio is powerful enough to create a universe?  
Pearl: Definitely, we had to stop this crazy emo guy-  
Silver: HEY!  
Pearl: Not that there's anything wrong with emos, of course- from unmaking and remaking the world.  
Red: I'll call it plausible then. We have a secondary myth: Arceus is the most powerful Pokemon ever.  
Gold: How we supposed to test that?  
Red: Easy. He created the Creation Trio, so we just need to take everything powerful enough to beat one of them and see if they can defeat Arceus!  
Blue: Yes, challenging the creator to a duel is easy.  
Red: I know, right! So what did you four see defeat them?  
Gold: THAT POSER GOT DESTROYED BY A SWINUB!  
Blue: A Swinub defeated one of the creators of the universe.  
Crys: Well, it was a newborn at the time.  
Red: FINE. Has anyone seen something hurt them at full power?  
Diamond: Say hi to Reggie, he beat up Dialga and Palkia at once.  
Red: .......  
Blue: So...... I guess we have our baseline?  
Red: Fine, throw everything we've got against it. Winner throws hands with God.  
Gold: Please don't talk like that, you'll anger the Arceists in the audience!  
Silver: Why would you care?  
Gold: My mom is one, she had to pray to someone for my health whenever I did something stupid.  
Silver: Then she must be the most devout Arceist on the planet.  
Gold: HEY!  
Blue: That reminds me of one last myth for the episode: "Self Destruct is a guaranteed one hit KO"  
Red: That's why you spent all our budget on explosives!  
Blue: Hey Dia, you up for testing that theory?  
Dia: But Regigigas could get seriously hurt!  
*all laugh*  
Pearl: Why didn't you tell me you were learning improv?  
Platinum: Yeah honestly I doubt he'd be affected, knock yourself out  
Crys: I'll just get a Fortress from my PC box.... do you want the shiny one, the level 100 one, the one with max IVs.....  
Gold: Crystal, ladies and gentlemen. If a species is ever endangered, you should be able to repopulate it with only Pokemon she's caught.  
Red: GIVE BIGGEST BOOM!  
Crystal: Fine, max attack stat possible it is. Let's test it on Regigigas.  
Diamond: His body is Reggie!  
Pearl: I take it back, stick to scripted jokes

Red: Wow, what an explosion!  
Blue: Now are you glad I told you not to do it in Viridian Forest?  
Red: Yeah, yeah, Yellow would've killed me.  
Blue: Anyway, if people ever question why there's now a giant canyon in the middle of nowhere where nothing lives.... Red did it  
Red: Let's call it the Red Canyon.  
Blue: But it's not red  
Red: I don't care, I'm naming this after me  
Diamond: Um, guys, the show?  
Red: Oh. Well, Regigigas is still standing, so..... MYTH BUSTED!  
Blue: Come back next week when we see if anything can defeat Arceus. Also, Yellow will be along to translate for an interview with Him.  
Gold: My mom is going to kill me.....  
Silver: Now you know how I feel  
Gold: Why don't you let me be sad about anything? Stop having such a horrible life that I feel guilty for complaining!  
Silver: I'm just trying to help  
Gold: I know, you're a good friend- CRAP THE CAMERA IS STILL ROLLING! I DENY EVERYTHING AND I HATE YOU! TOTALLY TOUGH AND MACHO!  
Silver: Hmmmph. So obnoxious.


	2. Chapter 2: Arceus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red, Blue, and a small cast of guests bust Arceus-related myths through an interview with the Mon himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I in no way intend for any religious criticism here. I am simply trying to make jokes about a character who fans assumed based off some stretches is the Pokemon version of God, not trying to say anything about actual religion. I respect people's beliefs and do not wish to harm anyone. I don't know if I need to post this disclaimer but it's the Internet and if people erred on the side of caution when saying something that might possibly offend someone more often I think it'd be a nicer place. Also thanks for reading, you the best and I hope you enjoy

Red: Previously, on Mythbusters...

Blue: You really don't need to do that, we've had exactly one episode

Red: FINE, I'll make it quick. We're going to head up to Arceus and have a little chat and find some answers. We're joined by a degenerate, an emo mob heir, a capture legend and all-around nice girl, some comedians who somehow own the most powerful Pokemon I've seen yet and a rich lady they refuse to go anywhere without. Also a gir- er, boy who lives in the woods and can talk to Pokemon with magic.

Blue: Oh great, you just lost us all credibility. Anyway, I'm Blue and I'm smart, and this is Red and he's an idiot.

Red: You're still salty that I beat you in the league finals aren't you

Blue: Salty? You've been spending too much time with Gold.

Crystal: And speaking of Gold, when we drop in on Arceus uninvited please do try to be polite

Gold: Make me!

Silver: I'm sure Arceus will.

Gold: ... Fine.

Red: So, how do we get there?

Silver: I ask my Weavile to ask Sneasels to help us find all the plates which when combined allow entry to the doorway to his secret lair.

Blue: Nothing today is going to make sense is it

Red: Of course not, I'm here.

Blue: Fine, do your thing

Red: While we wait for them to find it, we should test some myths related to Yellow's powers

Blue: What's the point? Psychic powers are far from a myth

Red: Oh yeah! Sabrina, Tate and Liza, Morty......

Blue: Exactly. 

Silver: This may take a while. I'm gonna go watch Proteam Omega.

Diamond: OH MY GOD YOU WATCH IT TOO?

Silver: AAAAHHH WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER?

Diamond: Snor! My Lax really looks up to him!

Silver: Do you know that they're all based off Red's team?

Diamond: THIS RED RIGHT HERE? WHAT? RED RELEASE YOUR SNORLAX RIGHT NOW

Red: Fine, fine......

Snor: SNOR!

Lax: LAX!

Yellow: I'm getting strong memories from these Pokemon....... Snorlax is his dad?

Diamond: OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING

Gold: Yeah, my Pichu is the son of his Pika too

Diamond: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING AAAAHHHH HI RED I'M A GREAT FAN OF YOUR WORK AND ALL YOUR POKEMON AND AAAAHHHH

Silver: We should keep in touch on the fan servers, what's your username?

Diamond: Funnyfoodie

Silver: YOU'RE FOODIE? AAAAAAHHHH I'M EMOWEEB76!

Diamond: THAT'S YOU? I NEVER THOUGHT WE'D MEET IN PERSON!

Gold: This is getting out of hand, now there are 2 of them!

Pearl: As annoying as this is I can't bring myself to ruin his fun, you'll just have to deal

Platinum: But preferably in another room

Silver: Can do, gotta go to my house for the TV anyway

Gold: THAT'S MY HOUSE!

Red: Umm...... we're live on television......

Silver: My profile is being spammed by teenage girls and some guys! What's happening?

Gold: Oh, everyone falls for the edgy brooding guy who kicks butt

Crys: Heh...

Gold: What?

Crys: Nothing

Blue: If you would all stop doxxing yourselves, we're supposed to be tracking down God

Red: SUPPOSEDLY God, we haven't tested that myth yet

Gold: You can't test faith!

Red: Ignoring that...... let's just go already

Blue: They're finally all here

Gold: What's this pink plate? I don't remember it from last time

Silver: That's the Fairy plate

Gold: What's a fairy?

Silver: YOUR TOGEBO IS A FAIRY TYPE HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS

Yellow: I'm sensing a lot of resentment from Togebo...

Gold: Sorry buddy, I promised I'd pay more attention to you. I'll make it up to you, I promise

Togebo: Hmmph!

Gold: I'll get that cook to make you a curry

Yellow: He's placated for now

Gold: Why would I need you to tell me how my Pokemon feel?

Togebo: HAHAHAHA

Gold: Fine, stupid question

Red: JUST SUMMON THE PORTAL ALREADY

Silver: It's time for you... to meet your maker

Pearl: Seriously?

Silver: I watch a lot of anime don't judge me

Diamond: I liked the pun

Pearl: Precisely my point, it's terrible

Blue: Umm... you guys were so busy arguing about puns you didn't even notice the Alakazam Silver borrowed from his sister teleporting us to a creepy cave where Silver opened the gate to heaven?

Red: WE DON'T KNOW IF IT'S HEAVEN YET

Gold: Easy, just ask the giant white goat thing

Red: ARCEUS EXISTS! MYTH CONFIRMED!

Blue: What's he saying?

Yellow: I can't understand their thoughts, just memories and feelings

Blue: ... Crap, I totally forgot about that.

Red: Blue is smart: MYTH BUSTED!

Blue: Shut up.

Red: Fortunately, I brought a backup psychic/brother/son

Crys: Whoa! What's that? I've never seen it before!

Red: Say hello to Deoxys, a space alien!

Blue: Technically he was born on Earth

Red: Whatever. He's still biologically an alien.

Blue: Doesn't he have your DNA?

Red: Yes, AND ALSO space alien DNA

Blue: Wouldn't that make him a half alien?

Gold: Um, you're arguing semantics in front of God

Crys: Again

Yellow: If you had Deoxys all along why bring me? Did you want to spend time with me?

Red: Umm... yeah! Because we're such great... friends, yeah

Blue: That's awkward. Just start translating.

Arceus: What brings you here, annoying mortals?

Red: We wanted to ask you a few questions

Arceus: Fine, let's get this over with

Red: Did you create the universe?

Arceus: Yes! Er, kinda. That is to say, I used my power and a magical area to create my sons who created the universe.

Red: MYTH BUSTED!

Gold: My mom is gonna be so upset...

Red: Are you all-knowing?

Arceus: If I were omniscient, you wouldn't have been able to surprise me

Red: MYTH BUSTED!

Arceus: I never claimed to be God, you know. I don't even know where the idea came from!

Red: People kinda assume that when you say you created the universe.

Arceus: I suppose. 

Silver: You're apparently not powerful enough to face the Creation Trio and Team Rocket on your own

Arceus: I'm only one Pokemon! So sue me.

Blue: What do you do up here?

Gold: Yeah, this place is really boring and lame

Crys: BEHAVE!

Gold: Sorry, ma'am

Arceus: If I were on Earth, do you think I could get a moment's peace? Everyone would want to challenge me, catch me, fight me, use me, worship me. After a few wars, I quit.

Red: Arceus stays in his heaven because he's afraid of what he's created: Myth confirmed!

Blue: Is this an afterlife?

Arceus: Do you see any departed spirits around here?

Red: Arceus has a sense of humor: Myth confirmed! He lives in the Afterlife: Myth BUSTED!

Blue: You don't have to yell the obvious every time he makes a statement

Red: That's what the show is for

Blue: Why did I agree to this...

Platinum: Sorry to interrupt, sir, but I have a query for you

Arceus: I'm listening

Platinum: Are you the most powerful Pokemon?

Arceus: I doubt it. I've seen some crazy stuff down there. Just wait until you meet Eternatus, oh me...

Red: We still have to prove it, though. Hungry Weeb! Send out the titan!

Diamond: He's Reggie!

Pearl: That pun was terrible the last time you used it!

Diamond: Use it once, and it's a bad joke. Use it twice, and it's a running gag.

Pearl: I'll have to gag you if you don't come up with better material! Where'd you learn that, anyway?

Diamond: TV. Shows do it all the time!

Pearl: We have a level of class to maintain! We can't stoop to childish cartoon shenanigans!

Diamond: Half our act is slapstick

Pearl: ... It's classy slapstick!

Platinum: I don't think those words fit together. Actually, I have a dictionary, I'll check-

Blue: Hey Red, why do you suddenly want to actually test myths instead of taking people's word on them?

Red: We don't do that too often!

Blue: If they had been lying about being able to come here we wouldn't have a plot for the episode.

Red: ...

Blue: You just wanted to watch them fight, didn't you

Red: Obviously.

Arceus: I'll just yoink this... GHOST PLATE! YOUR NORMAL ATTACKS CAN'T TOUCH THIS!

Blue: How'd he grab that when all he has are hooves?

Red: Arceus has ten thousand arms: plausible?

Diamond: FIRE PUNCH! ICE PUNCH! THUNDER PUNCH!

Silver: If Regigigas defeated Arceus, would it then be a god?

Gold: You're saying Dia would have the power of God and anime on his side?

Silver: A clash of the titans in front of you and you can only make meme references? Pay attention! You always have your head in the clouds!

Gold: ARCEUS IS STANDING RIGHT THERE! FOR ALL WE KNOW WE'RE ABOVE THE CLOUDS!

Diamond: Oh no! Seismic Toss is super effective!

Silver: How did he lift something that heavy?

Red: Arceus can make a boulder so heavy even he can't lift it: Myth busted!

Blue: That's a huge stretch.

Red: I know, I just wanted to say it.

Blue: Besides, we've gone over this, he didn't actually make anything

Red: Still busted then!

Blue: I hate it when you're right

Diamond: OOH! Knock Off! Outstanding move. Now Arceus has no plate and took a ton of damage! 

Silver: But he still has Focus Blast!

Diamond: That's why Reggie is about to pull off his finishing move... Focus Blast!

Silver: So they're both normal type now.

Diamond: Yup.

Silver: And they're going to just keep using fighting type moves until one of them faints. That's lame.

Diamond: Not if I can help it. Reggie! Grab his legs so he can't move!

Arceus: Um, ten thousand arms, remember?

Silver: Dang. Sucker punch right to the face.

Diamond: Aww. I was really rooting for Regigigas.

Red: Titans are stronger than gods: My-

Blue: You know that isn't accurate, don't say it.

Red: Fine. Arceus is the strongest Pokemon: Plausible.

Yellow: Poor things. I'll heal them both up.

Deoxys: I have a query. Why did you humor us so far? You'd be well within your rights to banish us all home.

Arceus: As Gold said, this place is lame. I don't have much else to do than nap. I figured, why not? It's not like I had anything better to do.

Yellow: Oh you poor thing. Don't you at least have other legends who could visit you?

Arceus: Giratina is serving its life sentence and my other dragons constantly try to kill each other. Only the lake trio will keep me company.

Gold: What did Giratina do anyway-

Arceus: I don't want to talk about it.

Red: I know! There are a lot of legends who feel the same way you do. That must be why they hide so often. Maybe we could bring them here, where nobody could bother them and you can all live together happily?

Arceus: I'd like that. But how would you find them?

Red: I have very interesting friends.

Arceus: That could work... as long as nobody finds a way to travel between dimensions and finds their secret hideouts in this land, but how could that happen?

Red: Should we tell him about ultra wormholes?

Blue: Nah, I'm sure that'll never come up. What are the chances of someone being able to navigate through there well enough to find this place anyway?

Red: I suppose we shouldn't worry him.

Arceus: I'm standing right here, you know.

Red: I mean, yeah! That won't be a problem!

Zossie: Whoa! People!

Dulse: Strange. I shall make a note of this in our comprehensive map of the multiverse so we know how to find it later.

Zossie: It's fun to navigate through ultra wormholes to find new places!

Arceus: Why do I even bother

Back at the Ruins of Alph

Platinum: I have a question. Are experiences normally like this for you?

Red: No, this is weird even by our standards

Blue: But only slightly.

Gold: I'll just say what we're all thinking: I am never going to guest star here again.

Red: You're on TV where millions of ladies can see you 

Gold: When do you want us back?

Crystal: Sigh...

Pearl: Seriously though I'm done here

Crystal: I didn't even get a chance to try to catch Arceus this time. Ah well, there's always next time.

Blue: Next time we pick a simpler myth that doesn't require traveling through dimensions

Red: Spoilsport.


End file.
